Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
