hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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