Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
