At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
