I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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