Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
