He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we're making bets on your personal life
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
As shirtless as possible
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
