What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
