meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
