I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
