I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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