he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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