I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
