i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
