Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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