I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This is the high leading the old right now
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
