Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Too much gin, very little bucket
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
