Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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