After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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