wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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