are you still at the devil's house?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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