I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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