Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
