I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
only you would photoshop your dick
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
