I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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