Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize