Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
