i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
