why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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