Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
