Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
