Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
