i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
