We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
now i know why i became what i already was.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
