New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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