You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dear god my vagina.
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