Old men and throwing up are my life now.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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