Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
