JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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