On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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