why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I will be naked everywhere
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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