I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
