why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
