She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
