wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
