a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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