with your own penis?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
