It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this beer tastes like vomit already
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize