After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
