i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
