this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
