I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize