I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
