You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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