I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
