You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize