wanna go halves on a baby?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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