she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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