I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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