it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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