he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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