I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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