I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize