I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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