You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
