There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
