My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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