I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize