He told me they were just razor bumps!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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